BINGO!

Where does all of the crazy action go down in the greater Sacramento area on a Tuesday night? Not at the Bingo Palace.
Prior to tonight I had always envisioned bingo to be a game for retirees and grandparents, if not great-grandparents. Now after penetrating the vale of secrecy surrounding the bingo world, I can add crank addicts and and housewives to that list.
I accepted the invitation to accompany two fine ladies to an evening of bingo out of curiosity of what indeed happens at these events, and who it is exactly that attends them. What I found was quite disturbing.

FAST PACED BINGO ACTION:
NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!

I was able to escape with this undercover footage of the game in full swing. I barely made it out just before... nothing happened, ever.
I don't understand the draw of the game. You sit and hunt for numbers on sheets of paper as fast as possible so that you can finish just in time to hunt for a new number on those same sheets of paper. And then as you sit "dobbing" (that's Bingarian for making an ink dot) away on your paper, the unwashed 83 year old four seats down uses her last bit of life to pull away her oxygen mask and gasp "bingo" negating all the fine work you had just accomplished.

Studies show, 11 out of 14 Bingarians have the mental fortitude of gym socks.